I have come from a place of judgement. I have chosen to open the closet, and shut the door. I choose to not take the passed on mallet and be initiated as judge.

Hurrah for being called in on my day off. Shit happens.

I’m trying to attack cleaning my garage for room and I have no idea where to start. It’s filled with art and no where to put it. Other then stacked around me. My work space has shrunk to 4 feet by 4 feet of moving room.

Sorry, artist is taking a mental and physical health weekend.

Artist will be back shortly to tear her self up again. 

With track marks, I saved this piece as the inspiration unattached to the hand made paper the body. I’m left with the dead skin of my work. I feel like my work be taking dramatic shifts as I evolve. Right now I need to address my self. Its kind of narcissistic, but important to drop in and heal while in my B.A. As individual documentation. So that when I get to my M.F.A. I see a shift I’m not sure in what direction but a direction with as much awareness of myself and how to present myself to the world as possible.

On another note:
I have olive skin and take tanning nicely. It makes my skin less prone to psoriasis flare ups as well. But in moderation I still where sun block in the sun and elevate my bad leg with ice all the time. Cuz I want to be youthful and able to build pergolas like our professors when I become a professor post brokehemian traveling artist 20’s and 30’s :) lol. When I say my life goals and how I plan to get ,her, my older self, I get a look that I’m silly. But I don’t think I am, I am sensible of where im at and how I want and can live with out compromising my vision, my dream of happiness.
Things will get bad then good then really good and really bad it interchanges but that’s how life goes.
Complacency is really the devil. My favorite professors are forever learning, problem solving, and creating work.

Allow me to ration my senses for you to ocrew a thought of demise. The list of players grows a fit and raises it’s fists to intelligence. Throwing rocks in occupancy. To Okrew a crew of ahi doers folders and movers. Folked up snail trails on your mothers bed post. Respect those who reeled the clothes hanging between your closet mirrored doors. Projecting all that humanity has torn. Breaking through your daddy’s chambers. Mommy Nature will forgive what has been done. But will not like what is to come. Learn what you have become. Learn what you have become.

A caution to the older gentleman who is turning this dvd movie into a vhs for me. 

Caution, contains nudity in the first 7 min. but it is NOT pornography.

pick up tuesday.  

Tantric Rules of Engagement

1. Gift of individual
Each person is made of the pure essence of spirit.
Each person is given the ability of perfection of
sacred spirit, sacred mind, sacred body, sacred heart, sacred emotion.  Each person is given perfection of the physical world in which to journey the earth plane.
The only limit of potential is those we place upon ourselves.

With all of this a gift of the earth plane each person is able work with the pure essence of the universe at every level
creating their individual ways.

These are the ways as created through self. Because of the infinite nature of the universe these ways may not be the ways of another.

2. Gift of polarity
In joining the earth plane each person is given the road of polarity. So each person is constructed of the realms of light and dark, day and night, harmony and disharmony, the moon and the sun. With the ability of sacred mind, one has the ability to rise above duality to see and move with all that exist.

In the gift of relationship, the door is opened to another level of these same energies. At this level one can shift and change their personal energies, views and ways of self. Because of the
gifts of free will, changes in another person can only be accomplished by that persons inner world and not by forces, powers and energies existing within our world. We honor their
circle, love, compassion, energies, and harmonies of the sun and moon existing within them.

3. Gift of relationship
The gift of relation creates forward motion through the corridors
of duality and oneness.  The art of relationship and all
energies that enter the circle are perfect. Passing into the circle
of another must have agreement.

Oneness with another can only be truly understood when
oneness is known through the eye of the inner self.

Connections with another through all levels whether it be one of simple acquaintances or deepest connection possible is understood first through the doors of the inner self. In these relationships that includes another, one only goes to the level they can in which they can leave the circle of that person with the elements of
love and compassion and no expectation.
Any hurt or pain is understood in the circle of self and can be transformed to love and compassion. Another person can not create our view or feelings.

4. Energies of agreement
The highest connection possible is the soul connection of spirit. One doorway of this realm is understood through the coming together of male and female within ones self. At another level,
that doorway can exist with another person and is the absolute connection between the two coming together in the realm of
sacred spirit, sacred mind, sacred body, sacred heart, sacred emotion in the perfection of spirit and the universe.

As two enter within each other’s circles, there is no right or wrong, only perfection. Their movement and connections are understood in the energies of perfect agreement.

All seek the highest energy flow possible with another.  We can go as far as our understanding of our light and shadow, sun and moon within our own world along with our perceptions of their
light and shadow, sun and moon as understood in
sacred spirit, sacred mind, sacred body, sacred heart, sacred emotion.

Because each person is gifted the essence of infinite, there is no way for another to truly forecast the energies and conditioned response or views created within our personal world.

For those to be understood by another they first must be communicated, the door to assuming another might know ones inner self is always closed. The power to understand another’s inner world that has not been spoken or communicated is only for that of the Great Mystery.

All levels of connection are agreed upon that include,
sacred spirit, sacred mind, sacred body, sacred heart, sacred emotion.

All resistant energy forms must be honored until agreement
has entered the circle.

All communication which we offer out positive or negative are of our own creation and are the result of the conditions and teachings that have made their way to our inner circle. Partners are catalyst propelling forward motion of our motion of our energies and evoke those qualities we seek at the highest levels or spirit and healing.

Partners are not responsible for our responses.
In harmonic movements of energies partners merge in agreement with all energies flowing in the circle.

We seek the highest form of positive response possible which is created through our forward motion of thought. Negative responses are our own creational energies unhealed doorways and fears. It can be up to the partners to inform the other of our negative flows which we may not see, so awareness can enter the circle. Such responses can only be heard through the doors of love, compassion, kindness and feelings of well being.

Connections to another are of the highest form of communication and allows duality to find oneness and
requires no expectations of that circle or beyond that circle.

Possibilities of connection are always infinite and ever changing.

5. Laws of attraction.
One attracts the elements found within ourselves which is felt in the unspoken circle of another. Understanding ones self
will allow  one to understand the other.
Understanding the other will allow one to understand the self.
Illusions of attractions and expectations are met with inner disharmonies and the gifts of polarity. These are doors to assist one in finding their own inner love, compassion and purity and healing and to attain clarity of sacred mind.

One is responsible for their own response in the circle with another. Disharmony will only create more disharmony and lower
levels of spirit and energy in a downward spiral.
Love and compassion will create more love and compassion.

Wah-we-nah
Mi’tse Ma’xpa
Bearcloud

Synapsed, Intaglio print

My work has little to nothing to do with body image issues. It speaks of transformation. The body has been a metaphor for transitional periods of growth. The paper emulates the body. The body emulates the soul. I did everything in my power to show you that I am not strictly talking about my stories. I tore down every fiber of myself from the story to just show you that the story is meaningless. It’s the experience that is ephemeral, transient, and is the art. The story is a relic/an artifact of scars. My body is just a damn body/a vessel that holds this reality in a frame of context. It’s a mere piece of paper that holds the drawing.

Hence the beginning of my artist statement:

My work indulges in process over a period of time.

Only because I opened up to tell you the personal does not mean that you can use the personal as a basis for everything.

Even if my life was perfect, I would still pull from outsider experiences that should be addressed or shed because that is where I feel the art lies.

one of my first drawing a days. sept 8, 2011

“Let yourself go and you will be more then you ever thought of being” Acrylic and Ink on Paper